A meeting with younger me

I've always wondered. If by any chance, I would see myself. The younger self, the one who has my features. Looking straight to my eyes, to my core. What would he say about me? How would I see him? you will often tell him about all the pitfalls and mistakes that he must avoid, lapses that led to disasters, personality traits that led you to the loss of people you loved. Sincerely and later missed them bitterly.

 

I will see my younger self as a pure version of me, more energetic, lively, full of dreams, and has that spark in his eye. Very curious and spontaneous. He is still at the beginning of life's journey. he never encounters the feeling of being heartbroken, nor expressing failure, or have self-doubts. He is enjoying his independency, he has the passion to read and learn about anything, and everything. His ultimate goal is to understand himself, and the people. He wants to be in control of his life and decisions. All people are good as he is? Or that's what he thinks they are. 

Listen! let me flash it up things to you. This is how the dreams were broken? And remember this moment, it is when I had my first love, and this is how I lost it. This when I had my first disappointment, and this is the second, third. You will grow up with those people, some, who you will dedicate time and care about a lot, one in particular will give you your biggest disappointment, you will know who exactly. Look, at this moment, you say to yourself: okay! let me try to love. Boom! life plans were different. You start doubting, over and over again.  And this is when you feel life smiles again at work, you think you finally have a clear path of what you want to do. However, it comes with bigger responsibility, you keep growing financially, and improve yourself. But you still feel life dragging you to first place, and rotating at the same spot, your life is not stable, and time passes by. Look, I'm older now, and some things are not done as planned. See, how ambition beings to fade gradually.  My younger me, life has taught me a lot, in a hard way. I have shifted my direction many times to meet the ever-changing situation. I had to adapt to these changes, sometimes willingly and sometimes against my will. See how people now are less connected than before. Faking life, personality over what called social media. Wrong act is acceptable now, and right one is odd. Childhood is ruined, people lost morals. Everyone has secrets now. Even the little child, by age but adults by acts. You start losing trust to people, and gradually, feel lonely and foreign to your society. 

I didn't mean to disappoint you, but this is me. I'm shy in person, and still I'm. Pure inside, and still I'm. I was ignorant to the law of life, human nature, and fluctuation of circumstances. You will grow up from the fact that you are fragile like glass inside to a solid like rock. I become wiser, calmer, and more cautious in doing things. I matured enough to overcome scars, too many scars actually.

YouTube: Hamza Namira - Dari Ya Allby

 It will be -without doubt- an honest, frank self-confrontation, without compliments or self-polishing. We may -at time- lie to ourselves at some moment and deceive the reality. But, at this meeting, you will tell it all, black and white. Even it is harsh and bitter.  You can't bend the events, nor fake the acts after all. 

Do I regret something? Yes. Did I make mistakes? Sure! Did I disappoint someone? Unfortunately, yes! But all these things shaped who I'm now. It is because of you - my younger me - your principles, your heart, and your passion over things and people. I learned with each failure, I would stand up and fight. Actually, you taught me that each failure is a lesson learned. It is because of you, I realized that the fever of seeking knowledge and writing would not have infected me, it made me unbreakable, have confident, helping me express myself, my feelings and thoughts. And with each disappointment and its huge fractures to my soul, you taught me that only faith, devotion to work, love yourself, and people you care about, will protect me from the evils of the world.

And life goes on...